Building Bridges
September 29, 2022
“What if I could speak all languages of humans and even of angels? If I did not love others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1
My 20th class reunion was this summer. I am proud to have graduated from Skyview High School in Vancouver, WA and truly loved my high school years editing the school newspaper, singing in the choir, playing the marimba, filming student videos, and swimming. But the people I’d really like to have a reunion with are my friends from youth group, those are the relationships that were most formational in my life. I recently strolled down memory lane courtesy of Facebook. I reminisced about the missions lock-in where (for some reason!) at 5 am we sorted through an enormous number of t-shirts donated from El Pollo Loco, deliriously silly from being awake all night. There were our 8-part harmony Christmas caroling trips (after all, half of our students were also in the championship Skyview HS choir). The time we talked our friend Stewart into eating 1 million Scoville unit hot sauce and he broke out in hives at college group.
And then, I started noticing the number of dear youth group alumni who have walked away from the Church. Was it really that many? I quickly tallied my old friends in my head. Sure enough, most of my beloved friends from those years have decided over the years, for one reason or another, that Christianity was not something they wanted to carry into adulthood.
“Many people have had negative experiences with Jesus followers who didn’t make them feel loved and accepted. …some people just want to know and understand that they are loved by God.” -fellow Portlander Kevin Palau
The He Gets Us campaign recently did a study of 100 million people and found that over 50% of people are open to learning more about Jesus, and that people overwhelmingly agree that His teachings of peace, compassion, and love are positive for society as a whole. So the issue isn’t Jesus.
… Could the issue be Christians?
Could it be that we are burning more bridges than we’re building?
It makes me think of Jon’s old friend and his wife, who are missionaries with Ethnos 360 in Indonesia. I remember being so fascinated by their 20-year mission plan; they don’t even introduce the gospel to the tribe they’re ministering to until the 4th or 5th year. They explained that they need to spend the first several years immersed in the culture, understanding their context, and earning trust and credibility. I wonder if we don’t need to consider the importance of doing the same here in America, where Christians are more known for what we’re against than what we’re for.
Could it be that we’re not being heard because we don’t have any credibility? We can’t expect to speak into people’s eternity before we even take the time to meet people right where they are, acknowledging their needs – and people don’t perceive salvation as a felt need. Coming out from under a pandemic has left people lonely, struggling with toxic relationships, and under extremely high stress and anxiety. We have an opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus by ministering to those needs. And in doing so, we get to reflect Jesus’ love in our interactions with others -which will eventually point them to Christ as the divine rescuer of their eternal need.
Look at the life of Jesus. He invited people – especially excluded people – into fellowship with Him. He shared his life with anyone who was willing. He cared for people in crisis. And look at Paul, who was a master at finding common language – He spoke to the Greeks about pluralism and quoted stoic philosophers. He spoke to the Jews about their laws and honored their holidays. Jesus and Paul found shared storylines. Likewise, we earn credibility with humility, by being well-behaved, and by truly listening to people.
What does this practically look like? Biting our tongue, put secondary issues in a little more of a secondary place. Being willing to go deep, to build vulnerable enough relationships with people to actually get to the topic of their felt needs. Quiet, humble service with no sermon required, no strings attached. When it comes to earning relational credit, right is not more important than kind. Our good news needs to be good!
As I’m praying over the next steps in outreach at Oak Haven Church we’ll be having many more conversations like this and I’m looking forward to getting better at reaching the world around us. And I know one thing for certain: I want us to join Jesus in the way He shows love to a hurting and broken world by building the bridges of relationship.
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